Letter for Mr.

Dear  Mr.

         I'm sick. My heart is.  Maybe  you know that,  or maybe not.  I didn’t know it was that serious until i noticed you’re becomming unaware, perhaps you  are,  but  you  might just ignored  it. Remember, that first moment you spent with me watching Spiderman movie?  I guess that was the time I allow susceptibility. I think so because I’m quite sure it can’t  be that  hurtful if i had just ceased it at first. Well, it’s too late now. I just said it.  I’m sick.

Did I ever tell  you why I’m capable of doing things of which you cannot? I know you don’t have any single nerve to ask me, knowing  its a shame  to discern your failure to take over as a man instead of me.  You can never count how many times when it was raining and I’m out there,  waiting. It might be just a usual thing for you when im trying to compose my self  and suddenly I cant,  so the next thing is  I’m shouting just to beg you not to lie, and i forgot  to tell you that its cold to stay out at night, to travel along and talk to you just  to let you know I am hurt, hoping for change,  and yeah  I’m traveling  back home after.  Its been a habit.

Just this morning while having another cup of coffee, I mull over  things.  After  several weeks of  deciding not to see you, I realize its not that bad to watch movie alone, there’s no difference of taste when I’m eating pizza without you, and I can still cut my pasta without remembering that you used to be in front of me twirling it to eat.

Its a sort of a slight cure for me now, that I can go to mall stores on my own instead of  me just following  you, while you’re  looking for new shirt or shoes. I can now sit back on that bench waiting for the sun to set, which you always find boring.

I made it all possible for us because i want to, but if it is so hard bacause you made reasons for impossibilities,  then I might try to see things beyond that walls  behind you. In that way,  maybe I will learn things that i can never learn if I’m with you.

Please excuse my absences.  My heart is sick and it needs a rest, let it explain to time all its own reasons that our mind cannot undestand.

p.s.

I’ll be gone for awhile..back whenever.

Sincerely your’s

Ms.