Remembering ME

Just for now.

There is nothing to reason why..
                       
Perhaps my mind is aware...yet  my heart  does not want to speak.

I am frozen....for a long time.

 I know  I was ,  and I remain that way because of that  little thing inside me, strong enough  to rule all my senses ...

Because of that..

I shut my perception to what is right from what is good.

I never mind to weigh what is important, so I ended up  dogging to what  is not.

I didn’t notice the destinction  of  an honest mistake from a totally wrong.

I move  so different from what my body want to act .

I thought of something nice for me instead of something  wonderful.

I believe for another repair a  hundred times than throwing it all away for once.

I swallow too much understanding to where things left unexplained.

I  stand my self to the  things I could not  bear.

I prefer  listening  to  lies to uncover  truth that no one would dare to tell.

I was bacoming someone else for my own exsistance.

I ignored hurts to fake my emotion.

I set aside a family for a single person.

I have given  pure chances  to situations that could be a potential waste.

I put trust infront of my doubts.

I tried forgetting ugly memories  that reapeatedly happen.

I made a lot of great things  and still happy to gain  little.

I  always run  the long road just to put off  through.... and along the way I haphazardly  found one same old thing  I can no longer  tolerate..

For  whatever  the reason is...it made me stop...and realize I  was stuck...

.. suddenly  I remember  what  I forgot.

I forgot about me...

A lot  about me.

Maybe someday,  if I will regain myself that  I lost for a long time, I can talk about my pain.

Maybe someday I will understand..

...and  there would  be something i can reason why.

I’ll start remembering now.